Everything Feels Worth It

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At times,
Heat of the cruel world burnt him so fiercely
that he felt he has become one of those old deteriorated things kept in the store room… beyond repair!

The fire soaked up his dreams.
Dry eyes… tired of trying to teach the same lesson of kindness
over and over again every single time with a vision that someday
people will understand… They are not the only ones having the ‘rough day’

Overwhelmed with madness and intervened with experiences
that leave scars as life gets scraped with tragedies,
He became a fusion of anger and disappointment,
The fusion that is harder to imagine and even harder to take.

The world tore him apart
like those pages you once keep in corner of a drawer
and tear them up questioning yourself if they were ever a necessary.

The dark side, exposed to the heat,
often came out… making him labelled as ‘Insane’

But for good and bad
THINGS CHANGE

Life is never the opinion of an eighth standard school boy.
It is like those questions of calculus where surprises wait for you at every step.

He met her one day.
The day melted into night differently that day!

She saw him tracing out his pain in ways a beautiful heart would never do.
Yet she danced with his demons!
She became the reader of feelings rather than words.
Somehow with time, it became a question to him how she could listen to the unsaid.
Rather than extending a bow of frown,
She managed o stretch a smile…
An innocent one indeed 🙂

At the end of the day,
He just had questions in those starry eyes

“Why after all this time…everything feels worth it?”

 

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Why eyes speak so much!!!

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Deep inside his soul,
In the rain of coals
A mushing made his heart divert,
as what if demons in him, did hurt.

Engulf her innocence,
that she carries within
What if the little poison of his love
Took to the periphery a savage spin!

He saw outside the falling leaf,
And Insecurity crawled under his sleeve

Deciding in the flying moments,
Said he to her beloved,
That he is not in love anymore,
She has become the one he loved!

He drew on himself,
A layer of ‘Love dissipation’
And he tried to speak the words so rude
All she could let into ears was – Anger and Frustration!

But soon

Knowing that he was going to break,
He turned out to go out for her sake
But as he went by her she saw,
Under his mask – A natural flaw…

Under the mask,
His eyes said it all,
She came to know
that he still loves her
Gave her a message,
A look so small!

The weeping beloved in heart and brain
Thought for a second and traveled a mile,
That was when her down curved face,
Reshaped into a hopeful smile!

And that day she understood…
Why eyes speak so much…
Why eyes speak so much!!!

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For someone like you…

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Only If my words could define,
how beautiful you are from the core; people fail to notice…
How you rise! in the way this world falls day by day.

People are never comfortable with the black souls.
And I am stunned! the way you hold on to the every darkness in them,
until you induce the angels in world of demons!

I don’t always like the people who are extraordinary…
I like how ordinary people make extraordinary contributions to the sick cosmos by their love and innocence.

All the nights, I miss you,
I miss a real human… and believe me,
the world hopelessly craves for someone like you!

-Sankalp.

More than anything…

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In my remembrance came the night,
When we didn’t know the wrong or right
Like which face the leaf will… kiss the ground
Like while imagining a poet climbs, unknown bounds…

Same way a nostalgia…
strike my veins when i miss that dim light…
when we sat around the dancing fire…
and stars looked at us with a zeal so bright… 🙂

U came up with your issues…
I came up with mine,
We were literally drunk
Even without wine!

We laughed for no reason!
And our presence itself was so peace…
How with immense beauty,
The silence got loud and words got seized…

How our giggling fizzled out,
And our hearts stepped in…
When we threw aside the layers
and came to our skin…

And just while laughing,
To us that Magical haze stuck!
That May be ‘us’ getting together…
Was not much of a coincidence!
Was not much of luck …

When i found me in your eyes…
And things got a gentle swing…
I crave for that moment
More than anything…

In such way we shared our pain…
like a poet shares his, crying in the rain
As much as yours was as much as mine…
And your head on my shoulder made my life shine

My heart dropped down with your tears… 😦
our sobbing broke me into pieces…
And listening to your story
I found your innocence trembling in traces!!!

Still my stumbling soul wiped your tears…
and swiped your sides that were lifeless and blue,
And how badly shattered you slept with a curve around my arms…
the scenario blurred and the the things i saw, dwindled to a few…

The next morning
When the sun poked our sleep…
That innocence of your stare…
leaked the mysteries so deep…

When we recognized the knock of love…
And our favorite song repeated its lyrics in us…
Today the same warmth of feelings…
The same coziness questions me this thus…

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Now same moments of unconditional love…
from where to bring…!??
I crave for the flashback…
more than anything.
-Sankalp.

The school… You miss it? or you missed it!

Oh!
I miss my school…
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How,
in a cute sense of fear of a strict teacher, I ran like a chick into my class,

And how,
As soon as the bell rang, I tried to be the first one to step out of the school.
Dude, believe me I ran faster than Usain Bolt that time… :-p

How I carved those desks, sitting alone, watching like nobody is watching me and then writing the name of my crush and then tried to erase it completely so that no Byomkesh Bakshi can even doubt my hand writing !!

How,
Passing smile at each other radiated the top secrets and eyes that spoke so much!
Every thing had the exact pleasure, i wanted
It was all about joy and friendship…

Alas! I can’t pull the rope again…
I have lost the tug of war against time
I wish I had a time machine!

These are the kind of words, the stuff I heard  from my fellow guys and girls.
Yes, they would put to words, those dazzling moments the same way.

BUT

I have never been one of such personalities. I too have missed my friends, have written the memories on the page of life with the ink of friendship. Such memories that if i begin to spell, would make it to days…
But still, that’s not all i can think of and write about when i sneak into the scent of those mesmerizing days…

Actually,
Rather than friends and fun only,
I always have and forever will…miss the vibes that kissed my very being the first day i put my first feat to that beautiful building, my school.

The way, we friends shared the food
And sometimes, those little stealings from the lunch box that contributed so much to the innocence phenomena…
But soon, the tables we joined to come closer to friends, to converge with them, to enjoy the meal…turned to the disfigured wood mangled with the compasses and sharp pencils that reflected our secrets!
I can sense the pain of those whooping desks…

Oh! those classroom walls…
Full of charts and hey! there hung my chart, that one of the walls did hold when i won my first chart making competition.
But as the time passed, the walls were stamped by the dirty shoes.
I can perceive the tears it shed.

What to say about the playgrounds!
Where our egos burst screaming! when they saw us lending hands to our oppositions and friends.
This way, we fed the white spirits in us with the delicious meal of sportsmanship.

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Time has been growing and,
It has been

Two years…

And i still, when pass by my school or come closer to that area, get goosebumps!
And then that overwhelming brimming out feeling again! when i put my first step into that building again.
It feels like it has its own cosmos, it hugs me with all the affection it can afford. I go to my classroom again like that kid Usain Bolt with the same spilling out enthusiasm and excitement!

I reach my classroom breathing heavily and read the label stuck to the wall ’10th A1′ and smile… 🙂
It was none less than a child that runs for his chocolate and never gets tired.
I enter and see, the blackboard that prepared me for life! the The chalk box, my teacher’s cupboard, the podium where my nervousness magically centrifugated to the confidence i earned after the first speech i gave… those desks, the same wall.
An impulse in me was finally cherished… 

Full of tears,
Once again as i was sent to school the first day,
Slowly sat on the desks,
I lent my ear to it and it spoke to me my childhood.
“Oye aaj tu kya laaya hai?” (What did u bring today in lunch box)
“Aaj mamma ne ye bheja hai” (today mom sent this)
“Yaar ye to meri favourite sabzi hai (hey this is favourite meal)
“Kamine thoda kam kha” (You dog! eat less :-p )
“Baaki sabko milega par tujhe ni dunga ( All others will get some meal, except you )

All those voices it kept within it, it just transmitted into me and brought to me an immense happiness!

Then, i hug that wall.
Sometimes, it is damn cold!
But it has a warmth that has given life to my days…everything I crave for!

FINALLY,

I come to my playground, turned around, imagine all those scenes playing like an emotional movie in my head…and i breathe in the vicinity…
I mean, my school was – A home away from home.

It has made me realize that there is nothing more beautiful than childhood and essence…
Essence is the mother of all memories… 🙂

They are rare that miss the ‘school’,
others just missed it…

So people must think, when they say they miss their school.
Because most of them miss their peers….

So which of the two,
Do you miss often…

The classmates, the school, or both?

Tail of the comet! :-)

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I have seen,
how viciously!
Honesty can be hammered to pieces…

Still,

Darling you are raw…
A pristine extempore painting...

And such loyalty
you carry within your feat,

That my love,

You enlighten the world with amazement
in such a magical way,

As a comet in the sky,
Enlightens the dust
where ever it treads!

And now, I can see…
How with your innocence,
you change the world…

My love,
I can see now,
Illuminated tail of the comet… 🙂

A treasure that beats in you.

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This world,

stuffed with such demons,

That bring injustice to every innocence…

And somewhere,

In the Heaps of heartless!

I found a girl,

So simply amazing,

So damn different…

Darling,

I just wanna tell you,

That…

Its not just a heart,

Its a Treasure!

That beats in you… 🙂