Apology

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Sometimes I promise you 
I will not be the same person again.

Sometimes I tell you stories about how much my dad loves my mom
and promise you that we will just be like them. 

Sometimes i reckon’ that shattering voice when I am outside your door
and I promise you that I’ll stay and never be the reason for it.

But I break promises 😦 
and I do hurt you at times

But love,
I want you to know that anger is a part of me.
But it’s not all of me.

I want you to know this today that…
I am discovering what should i keep in me
and what should i let go of me.
You are always like this mirror to me. 
Giving me answers. Point at my scars
and still making me feel beautiful.
and I am very fortunate for that…

Sometimes I say too much and
you react too quickly. 
We lose momentum, and then we gain it
we lose it and we gain it again. 
But we don’t stop.
And hopefully we never will.

You know,
When I read that
Whales helped the swimmers.
When they discovered that
Dogs can be best friends.

I knew that there is not much of a difference
between humans and animals. It is not even the difference of emotions.
It is the way we interpret what we feel and what we do about it.
That is the dwelling of difference.
Guilty makes us human… sometimes more than anything else.

You see…
A person can not aboard from his character
but he who doesn’t try too often is not a man either.

I understand very well that I have hurt you today
and that ‘I am not supposed to talk to you’
But it is a big part of who I am now.
And talking to you makes me realize that
even if my whole world is tearing apart
in front of my eyes…
As long as i have you, I can save it.
And I can build it all over again.

So here I am,
trying one more time to gain the momentum.
To fix the broken and make you smile.

And if you think its worth a chance…

This is an Apology. 

 

 

 

 

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The fractured friendship…

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” Only if he had known
 that his absence would not vanish him from her soul

He would have evinced his feelings of love
 overcoming the fear of a fractured friendship…”

Your name…

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Broken and lost
Quite alone…
Long apart, 
away from you

In these sands
That rest down like our relationship.

Arrives…
the wind of fortune
Imitating the angels,
It rises again the silent sands.

I try again to stay away.
So I stain these winds,
With memories of my broken heart.
And restless sand hence gets heavy
It gently kiss and establish 
Again on the same ground.

Whooping down in my own senses,
I pick the sands up in my fist
I shriek as loud as I can…
May be this way I get rid
of ‘you’ left in me

But I don’t know why…
Whenever this sand
slips from my fingers

It always write
Your name…

-Sankalp Chawla